How to give kids a looser summer without losing all structure

Structure doesn't have to mean rigid. In fact, the families I work with who thrive in summer are usually the ones who find a looser version of routine, not a perfect one.

Structure is important for everyone in the household. Keeping a routine is especially beneficial when one or both parents are working. And the good news: it can look different for every family.

When parents are working, having a predictable framework helps children feel grounded even when the school year structure is gone. That might mean a consistent morning routine, regular mealtimes, or a simple wind-down ritual before bed — whatever fits your family's rhythm. The goal isn't to recreate the school schedule, but to give kids (and yourself) a sense of what to expect each day

Summer is an exciting time of year. The days are longer, the sun is shining, and there's no shortage of things to do. One great way to loosen up is to plan something for the weekends — a trip to the pool, the beach, a local festival, or even a relaxing nature walk.

The most important aspects of routine to maintain are consistent sleep and wake times. You might consider pushing bedtime back slightly for the summer, but keep it predictable. I've seen children shift from a healthy sleep routine to going to bed at 2 AM and sleeping until the afternoon, which isn't great for kids or parents. When sleep schedules drift too far, it can affect mood, behavior, and even how well children transition back to school in the fall. A good rule of thumb is to keep wake time within an hour or so of the school-year norm — that one anchor tends to pull the rest of the day into shape.

Planning your week is another way to maintain structure. It's unrealistic to do something 'fun' every single day, but scheduling a pool day or a special outing gives both you and your kids something to look forward to.

When kids (and parents) have something on the calendar to anticipate, it can make the quieter, more ordinary days feel more manageable rather than monotonous. It doesn't have to be elaborate or expensive — even a standing Friday movie night or a Saturday morning farmers market run can serve that purpose. The ritual of it matters more than the activity itself.

In my experience, many clients consider taking a break from therapy in the summer. While vacations, summer camps, and scheduling challenges can make that feel like the right call, maintaining a regular therapy appointment can be a valuable anchor in your or your loved one's routine.

Summer can actually bring its own stressors — changes in routine, increased family togetherness, or anxiety about the upcoming school year — and having a consistent space to process those experiences can make a real difference. For children and adolescents, especially, a predictable therapy appointment can provide continuity even when everything else feels up in the air. If travel or camp schedules make your regular time slot tricky, it's worth reaching out to discuss options rather than pausing altogether — even a reduced frequency can help maintain the progress you've worked hard to build.

Changes in routine are hard for everyone, and that's okay. Therapy is a great place to discuss these challenges and can offer ways to work through life's transitions. If you're considering giving therapy a shot — for yourself or your loved one — it can be a valuable space to process and plan. Whether it's navigating a child's resistance to a new summer schedule, managing your own stress around work-life balance, or simply feeling stretched thin, these are real challenges worth talking through. A therapist can help you identify what's working, what isn't, and what small adjustments might make the season feel more manageable for the whole family.